its interesting how these two are so alike and so different.... I am living with my friend right now. her name is bekah and her mom is dying of lung cancer...at this very moment they arent even sure if she is going to make it through the night...I don't know what to do with myself because i dont think that i can handle being away, but going and being there is an even more scary thought to me...I know it is what i should be doing so i am going to go..and i am going to be with my friend regardless if she wants me right there with her or not..it needs to happen and i understand that..God is really laying it on my heart to be there with her and right now it sucks not being there...
I am truthfully not sure why I am here, and why i have been here,...i am not sure whats going to happen when the mom dies and bekah and i dont have a place to live right away...I came to maine thinking God has me here to stay..but truthfully everything but being here with bekah has fallen apart so fast...my job, my test..being here having a place to live...when her mom dies bekah can no longer live in the house, and this is a scary thing for her i know it is....I feel so selfish, and think people think i am so selfish for thinking about these things but...its naturally going through my mind, and i cant just let it sit there...or i will go insane...
so if i am selfish im sorry
