Happy New Year!!

My dear friend and I!

More on erlier

2 of my friends died in  a car accident. .....the 21st a friend died...and then earlier...another friend died...*shrugs* the truth is its so hard to say goodbye..I loved them all and they are gone and that is so hard......
     I am watching a movie called My Fake Fiance, and it is so wonderful. it makes me want to get married and become a mother right now...It makes me smile, and laugh and cry..all when i need to and i never thought it was going to happen...lol
 Lord...I am so thankful for everything you have done for me..and I am thankful that i can trust you with everything even the hard times..<3 I ask right now Lord that you just keep my heart close to you Lord and that you put it back together because i hurt so badly Lord....
 

I am really REALLY sick of saying goodbye....

I am just so sick of saying goodbye to friends..to people i knew..to people i cared for...because of death I HATE IT....So many lately..and it's really hard to deal w/ sometimes....

its that time

 

I <3 being bored...

I think i might be able...

sorry..the title has nothing to do with my writing..but i was listening to LMFAO so i thought it would make an alright title for this thing...lets see...

I have 430$ for my missions trip to Quebec. with a promise of....50$ more which would be exciting putting me at almost 500......man oh man that is some exciting stuff! and i need the rest of the money by April. I am not worried about that honestly..I do go back to school on the 2nd and then I am there until Feb which takes away some time to raise support..but I know that the Lord has it all under control so i am not to worried...
   Wow..the new year is coming soon!!! it seems so amazing to me..I can still remember last year and everything that's happened this year has been so different and I am thankful..because that's what i wanted it to be..but man it's so odd... my mind and my emotions have been going so crazy..not exactly sure whats going on but I know the Lord has it all settled..i think its hormones LOL stupid stupid things..why do i think i can follow them?! *shrug*

 ....so...to be honest i have no new years resolutions or things as such..because really they mean nothing to me...I make promises to God..and i suck at that...but I know the Lord will keep me so i am not to worried about it...

<3

Change up

I have decided to change my blog up a little bit...make it a little more like me ;) hopefully you will be able to read it !!

Today I found out my friend Zac was in a car accident...now..Zac is one of my best friends in the world. I love him more then...probably anyone..*shakes head* I didn't know how he was for a while..He lives in Maine, and of course I am in NY and so i was so frightened...it didn't help that last night I had a dream i put the tshirts i made for my friends on one friends caskett at their funeral...so you can imagine my mind went right back to that...*Shakes head* PRAISE  THE LORD He is ok....I text him saying "please be ok" and He text me back a little while back saying "I am ok" ugh..my heart...started beating again I think..

Zac is the first one sitting on the couch. looking away from the camera lol <3 man i love him..and I am just so thankful that He is ok..I really don't know what I would have done if He was so hurt..
ANYWAY...

This is why I say how much I love my friends all the time because YOU NEVER KNOW what's going to happen..you never know when you are going to have to say goodbye, or ...see you later as this would be. Just remember to thank the Lord for your friends because you never know....

<3

In other news...I am 853 word into a 1500 word paper...praise the LORD i am almost done but i have to figure out what else to write..it gets a little difficult without the correct books..i will look more when I get to school but right now this is all i have ...(which i suppose will work) B-U-T ANYWAY..I go back to school the 2nd and oh my goodness I cannot wait.... *Sigh*

<3

Today was the first time I really started thinking about the fact that in Feb I will no longer be a student of Word of life bible institute..that was a scary thought for me. It is hard for me to think that!! I have made so many good friends w/ the people who work there and the people who go there...that I am a little bit...ok a lot bit scared to leave >_<.....I really...am *shrugs* mi madre thinks I am going to screw up really badly..and that truthfully doesn't help me want to leave any more then...I already do..but *Shrugs* I know that God does all things for a reason and that I KNOW if I allow him first in my life that I will be able to handle anything that comes my way..so I am going to start trying to find a job so that I can get some money and then hopefully..go to Quebec...and then come back and be able to live my life..not be stuck in my madre and padre's house..because honestly I dont know how much longer I can handle it...There is one week until I go back to school...and there is a lot going on in my mind and in my heart..and I am thankful for friends who give me a lot to think about..and how I am acting..changes things..in people's lives.....
             I am currently...dealing with an issue....with a friend that i like more then "friends" WELL let me tell you ..one of my friends(ALL of them are amazing) but one in particular..just understands and He is being super helpful just giving me truth and helping me understand things better and today he was talking about the fact that being friends is a choice..as is love..and that if you really love someone and you really..want to be a good friend you choose whats best for them..not whats best for you..and your emotions..as much as you may want that something to turn into more..that's not what it's about.it's about loving the Lord and loving them, and helping them grow closer to the Lord..
       It is a sacrifice..and you have to ask yourself if you are willing to make it...maybe they will realize you are who God has for them...or maybe...just maybe you will be good friends for the rest of your lives and they will never know..whatever happens..the wonderful thing is that The Lord has it all under control...and we don't... :) 
 W-O-W what a little rambler I have become *Shrugs* Oh well..that is ok i suppose..we all have to ramble once in a while..unless your me and then all the time ;)  

Let me tell you a story...

About a wonderful night!! A night i will not forget for a very long time!!

the night of the Silver bullet! That night we spent a long time deciding who to kill

we chose Ben...^_^
That Night we drank....(sparkling grace juice OF COURSE) ....and had a wonderful time getting to know eachother in our...odd characters :)!!!

 After we had this wonderful time when we got back to the house...we watched some starwars and they threw me a birthday party <3 oh man..what a lovely time we had.....I MISS YOU GUYS

Merry Christmas!

I know I know...

It's a bit early (a day) lol but still..we should be celebrating Christmas EVERYDAY not..

just one day where the whole world does...(ok not the whole world) BUT

The point is...we should be praising the Lord that we have a God who is ruling and knows

everything and cannot fail us :) <3

Poem

Friends::

Fading quickly i asked the Lord to give me friends
My heart was breaking, and i wanted it to mend
Lord i cannot do this alone i said crying out loud
There were thoughts of doubt,hate,death what a cloud

Then one day in a circumstance full of strife
You all showed up. One by one filling my life
Words of encouragement when i felt so glum
All i really needed was someone to call chum

The truth of God's word is on your lips
You bring back the light when i make an eclipse
I fight the truth and go for lies
You help me untie the chains and cut the ties

You may never know how much you mean to me
Although through the years I hope you see
I cling to His word and his truth so tight
All because you helped me win this fight 

 I wrote this poem for my friends who never let go..even if I wanted them to..you know who you are and I  really hope you realize how much you mean to me..I am going to..when I get the pictures back from a friend edit a picture so the poem is on the picture..and it is going to be wonderful and then hopefully i will be able to print them out and make them able to have it..and maybe even frame it..I am not sure but that is my plan for right now....
I have realized just how thankful i should be...that my friends are such amazing people ..never letting go and that I need to cling to them just as tight. they give me truth from Gods word and smack me in the kidney so to speak when i need it....:) i love them and thank the Lord for them... <3

so many losses

as of late there has been such a huge loss of life..Lord i don't know what's going on but I am so thankful you do. it scares me sometimes to think who could be next..it is however wonderful to know i can trust him even though its scary...

           I am so thankful for my friends...i made a picture this morning because i just..wanted them to know how much

Home [[sweet?]] Home

Back from Maine
Those are a couple of examples of the fun we had! Hopefully soon we will have the ones from the dinner thearter up!
I loved Maine so much...God blessed me more then probably many will know! The family was sweet, loving and kind..they made us feel like we were part of their family. never felt weird being there one moment!! <3 they went out of their way to make us feel happy there and i really appreciate them! Their pastor was WONDERFUL as well! WOW I have not met a man like their pastor in quite some time. if ever for that matter...I told him about Quebec and he started crying because his father went there to go learn french. he told me he was going to help me and i was so...blessed wow!!! It was wonderful spending times with friends and we had an awesome praise time last night..coming home was good..a little awkward but good lol.....
I wish i could say i am happier to be home lol but i had so much fun..when i see my nephew i will be able to say i am so happy to be home but .until then ;) LOL! 


 in sad news..i came home to find that a teen i knew well died this morning..you never know whats going to happen...Lord ..i trust you with this pain!

hmmm

i officially know no hyms all the way *sigh* fail for me..lol

We have everything

Quiet time today is super good!! listening to one true God by Mark Harris and reading about the fact that we have such a great salvation because of what the Lord has done for us is so cool! It's so true. we have everything we need for life and godliness because he sacraficed himself on that cross for us! Praise the Lord he did...we wouldn't be in a very good place if He didn't eh?...

goodbye friend

Lord, thank you for allowing me to know this girl...her amazing love for you and the way she loved others. It will be hard for us to go on without her..but Lord she is with you..and there is nothing better then that! YOU PROMISE that you are with us always..and your plans for us are good..so i choose to believe it..as much as it hurts...
R.I.P Nancy ...
<3

concrete angel

God is so good!! I am going to give a presentation about me raising support for Quebec next week and I Am SCARED...but excited at the same time! the Lord has given me the chance to do it so  I am going to get up there and share my excitement about what God is going to do...and what He is doing through others in Quebec.
 tomorrow my friend is coming to hang out! Which is super exciting to me because i HATE being here by myself..it really is boring and i cant ....deal with it sometimes..i just NEED to be with people sometimes you know? *Sigh* praise the Lord she will be here :) Today was wonderful! I spent it with Marian..who is the most wonderful lady i know..she is always loving always caring and will never judge you..man i want to be like her!!!!
   My birthday is on Friday who wants to hang?!?! Lol <3

thankful

I am super thankful for my friends ...God is so good I had a really good skype conversation with one of my friends! We haven't been able to talk in a really long time...and praise the Lord when we talked it was just so amazing....God really convicts me everytime we talk...and i am just so thankful for her friendship..... thank you Lord. God you are so good......
         I am watching Yu Yu Hakisho right now and its been wonderful. i was doing dishes and singing and dancing so its been a pretty bleck kinda day lol...i am tired....but Matthew is calling me soon but i would rather sleep..lol

Mountaindew and Reese's peices

....Home is...well *shrugs* Home..I am feeling eally unwanted, except by Elijah..and by the others when they don't want to "deal" with him. I have been having a hard time but I don't want this break to be filled with "mess ups" or stupid moments so i am getting my mind back on the things that count and trying not to be stupid... so i am starting to read gripped by the greatness of God again. which is a WONDERFUL book that if you haven't read you DEFF SHOULD!!!!! 
       so since i've been home which is a week tomorrow *sigh* ONLY A STINKING WEEK..*sigh* lol anyway.....i've been doing a lot of thinking about a lot of things....I am going to be 24 soon.. (thats weird...) i have a guy that likes me (thats REALLY WEIRD)...and i have a really cute nephew and wonderful friends who God has given me....... and I am excited to go see some of them in Maine soon (OH YEAH)
 In exciting news I found lactose free eggnog and milk that tastes like pumpkin pie! As well as ice cream so that was an exciting thing.....for my birthday i am getting a whole bunch of stuff like a hat and footie pajamas..i am pretty excited about that :) LOL I miss my friends a lot but I know God has a reason for this break and i am going to enjoy it while i can...
 <3

break blog 1

https://home.wol.org/giving/giveto/Sarah+Thompson++%28090S5S%29  so i havent raised any support to get to canad yet..but i am praying that it will work out.....*sigh* that is the link if you want to give online :) isn't it exciting?!! to think you can give online? lol well its exciting to me.... well break has been pretty interesting so far...the whole...3days i have been here lol..i already want to go back..but i knew that was going to happen.
so here i sit watching vampire diaries... :) which is good stuff i am on the 3rd episode lol anyway....hopefully soon i will have a wonderful birthday and then i will go to maine and have a wonderful time :)
<3

SO SOON

So....
My time at the Bible institute is honestly almost done. It's crazy to believe quite honestly. I have made so many friends and its a little sad to think that in Feb I will be done. It's also very exciting at the same time ^_< SO Anyway!!!
 This week has been a lot of fun quite honestly..I mean there have been some crazy happenings. but all together it's been wonderful. My friend Ben has come for the week to visit and that has just been such a blessing to me in the fact that we can spend time just chilling, talking and enjoying eachothers c ompany before he and his sisters go back to maine..and i am left in this cold barren ny state by myself.... (ok w/ 1000's of others but none that mean much in all honesty :-p ...lol
                B-U-T on wednesday I leave the B.I for break..which means i will have much more time to write how i am feeling, what I am thinking and everything that goes along with that. from the 23rd of november to the 2nd of jan i will be free flying enjoying my time and sleeping A-LOT as well as getting some homework done (oY!)

God is so good..and is teaching me a lot about my heart and my fear..and about a lot of crazy things....about whats in there..so anywhere there is this guy who likes me..who lives in Quebec...and so i am..just working with that relationship and loving God and enjoying...ok i am scared so not so much enjoying but living with what God is teaching me lol..

Prodigal who?

Interesting.. I’ve been doing a book study with my discipler and we talked about the prodigals son. We decided, upon looking at it more importantly to look at the prodigals father. That the fact that the son came back..ya ok that’s great but, look at the fathers heart in this whole situation. It blew my mind and I wanted to look further into this! The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them so in verse 12..<--when the son asked the father to give him his share of the inheritance..(WHICH he wasn’t supposed to receive until his father was DEAD) The father gave it to him. The father didn’t fight with him, the father didn’t tell him how stupid it was that he was going to do that. The father knew that He was going to screw up, and probably waste all the money and have nothing… ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. In 15 and 16 When the son had lost all of the things that he wanted He knew he was foolish.. but He was fighting.. 17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. WOW [[when he came back to his senses]] When he got ahold of himself.. when HE REALIZED.. what He had done was foolish He knew that his father was taking care of the people that worked for him! Even better than He was being taken care of (HE WASN’T) So He knew he had to go to his father!!

-now comes the exciting part-
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.”!!!!!!!!!!! The father was waiting for him! He was looking for His son! He was waiting and then when he saw him he RAN to his son. Now…the father could have hit the son, or told him what an idiot he was to be gone and waste his money like he did…but he didn’t! That wasn’t the nature of the father. The father loved his son and was beyond excited to see him! (w-o-w)
21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’   22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. (Now look at this!!) When he apologized to his father KNOWING what the father could say to him…the father instead of yelling, or being stern was SO happy that his son was back that he threw a party for him!!

            WHAT A COOL STORY…but more than that it’s exciting to know that Gods love for us is JUST LIKE THAT!! When we walk away from the father.. taking our inheritance and spending it on foolish feelings, lusts, and moments of joy we think will last forever…He is there waiting for us! When we run back to Him he is going to run to us kissing us, thankful that we are back. He isn’t standing there with something to hit us with, he isn’t waiting there ready to yell at us! He is waiting there full of mercy and love ready to show us the blessings and care he has for us.

            So I urge you..next time you are just sitting in your pity of sin, or if you are just feeling like God is a bully…Read the prodigals son story. And think about how much love the father had for the son and how much the father has love for you J

Excitement

Pretty sure....God has been showing me amazing things lately..lol *shakes head* It amazes me sometimes the things God does for us..just the little things that seem so insignificant to most people and how exciting they are for me...praise the Lord that He is so good..I am not going to lie..it's been hard for me lately to be thankful for being here...but praise the Lord He is so great <3

truth is...

Yeah...
So people keep asking how i am doing..and whats going on and if i am happy and how life is and ya know..i keep saying good, and i keep on smiling, and laughing and putting on the face that people want to see but really...im kinda miserable right now..i am not sure why my life is going back to this and i am not going to lie i dont like it...but...i will keep going because in the long run i guess it makes me feel better to be fake then to be real ans continue to get introuble for doing the right thing..why does that happen anyway?..i know its a bad attitude and i am venting and it's like im 4...but really i am so frustrated and sick of people dealing with my...how are you...oh i am fine and then walking away from it believing me..my eyes say so much more and yet people dont take a 2nd glance....

ya know...

its frustrating when people dont believe you...

^_^

Oh..i also decided to write some things that are changing
#1-i am growing my hair..(some of you may have known that some of you may have not) well now you do :p
#2-I am leaving the B.I Soon to go home and get ready for Canada in the summer..my friend thinks that i should go sooner and maybe i will... :)
 #3-I am praying about a relationship...I know not many read this so lol it's ok to put this on here (watch me have a secret following) ooo...man well anyway this guy is cool, Godly and Canadian and I am pretty excited to see what the Lord does with it!!
#4-still raising support for Quebec..i havent made any money yet but that ok I am still trusting God... ;)
I am spending the night at my house tonight like i said and i am getting pumped.//but first youthgroup :-D

after this..

This week has been complete....chaos...yeah thats a good word of it...chaos...a lot of frustration and a lot of pain but God is so faithful and i am thankful for that! It was a really hard week though..and i def trusted myself more then God but I am learning thankfully that He is so much better then anything i could do to make myself feel better..so praise the Lord for that atleast! One of the hardest weeks of my life..but one of the best realizing who my friends are and how God placed them in my life with the perfect timing....
  ....spending the night at my home after going through a whole bunch of junk this week will be honestly wonderful..i am so thankful for my friends and my home that isnt as far away as most peoples so i can relax a little bit with my wonderful nephew <3

wow....

a lot of crazy things have been happening lately..this last sunday we pulled a really great halloweenish prank on my friend Kendra..:) It was a lot of fun and gore and of course pizza and soda ^_^....there has been a lot of fun things as well as some frustrating things. God has shown himself so faithful in everything thats been going on and I am so thankful for that.
   November 1st was 8 years since a really great friend of mine committed suicide and that was a hard day. I am thankful that I have friends who love and support me..and who want me to grow closer to Christ..because without them i am not really sure where i would be.....:)

.....I am looking forward to break..it's coming soon (november 23rd we leave) I turn 24 december 9th and then i will be leaving word of life in Feb...wow everything is moving so fast and as it draws near it makes me so nervous and yet it makes me...excited...we will see what God has :) <3 i am excited!!

ff

I found out that this summer I am going to Canada...W00t I AM SO PUMPED <3 ...God has been doing crazy things and i cant wait to see what happens...
school sadly..=down hill

today..

Today was filled w/ silence for me..a day i quite enjoyed. as i sat, and listened...and didnt talk i realized how good...it was not to talk..not to fill people's heads with my words..but for them to be able to talk..and fill my ears with their words...although it got a little depressing I think that i will continue this life style..maybe i will talk here and there but for most of the time i think i will not speak...#1-unless spoken too...#2-unless i have something wise to say..these are my ideas that i am really thinking about living out...and of course #3-kinda goes along w/ #2 dont speak unless you have something nice to say..sounds really lame i am SURE but...it is probably the best idea ive had in a long time......
        in about a month..I will be going on break from word of life until january 2nd...I cant tell you how happy/sad i am about this...I want go to home and enjoy time with my family..but i would like to be with my friends here..I leave in feb...so its kinda sad only to leave to come back for a month and maybe a half..not even...*shrugs* but all good times must come to an end and maybe i will make new friends when i leave....
 anyway...those are my plans for the time being...

I will give myself a week of this ..."talking little"  thing...and we will see what happens in a weeks time ;) <3

my life so far at wol

let me just explain..the things that have been going on....I have made some good friends here so far..and we are enjoying life. so far let me just tell you a good story that happened::
Kendra and i were going to be in the Jack early for devos...so we decided to chill around...at 9:40 we thought  "hey wanna sneak in the guys bathroom" ok..in our heads why not..it was 9:40 almost time for devos..who would be there besides GIRLS.....
 so we get in there we are like eww boy bathrooms you know the whole girl thing....
AND BOYS COME IN the JACK start singing hakunna matata..praise the Lord they never came in the bathroom though we thought they would..*sigh*
.....
lots of giggles and diving

Lately

It's been an enjoyable time at home..(not) lol but anyway...this is my nephew and i..and i am so in love! :) I am proud of my sister and so proud of him! ^_^ He is getting so biiig and i love him! Right now I am watching Him and just loving on Him..it's so exciting to see him grow and see what hes like day by day...
         I am going back to the b.i (bible institute) on the 14th! I am so excited..Im excited more then ever...to get there but i am frustrated because ill be leaving my little man :) 
*Sigh* God is good and im excited

WOAH

Lazy much? YEAH thats me..ok well to be fair not really....ok well as of late yes but before NO!...i was crazy busy working on an ISLAND yes an ISLAND in the middle of schroon lake...with teens and people and just woah.....lets just say some of the best times in my life ^_^ It's so funny to think that the summer went by so fast...I KNOW I KNOW everyone keeps saying that but its so true..i believe it w/ my whol heart it went by too fast :) naw..God had it go just as he had it to go and im thankful for that.....
   SOOOOOOOOOOOO......soon very soon in about 8days..WOAH 8 days *giggles* I am going back to the Bible institute...praise the lord! I am so ready to go back and see my friends...but this is also the beginning of a closing of a chapter in my life. I will be done w/ the b.i in feb and then who knows what i'll be doing!! hopefully..if my computer decides to start working *lap top* i will be able to blog about my life there :) we will see what happens but thats what im hoping!! ;)

woah

I must admit this isn't my first "blog" and it will hopefully ..be the one i use the most...i usually have to get a new one because people judge or people make me feel foolish on it..but *shrugs* whatcha ganna do? This one...is mine and mine alone.. people can read and think what they want but I know that it's my out..when things in my life are going crazy!! 
  I am going to Quebec very soon (friday) So truthfully..after friday i wont be writing until about 2 weeks after...Missions trip fun in quebec! How exciting it will be to share the gospel with people..but any how....
    Life has been such a maze lately...a lot going on and in the thick of it feels like im locked in a land where there are no doors no windows and a very low ceiling. but i know this wont be forever. I know that God has a lot for me...sometimes it just feels like im stuck in this spot and ive done it to myself  ....Praise the Lord for not living off emotions eh? ....
     Lost a friend and well ..i dont have much respect from my other ones..its what happens when you live for God.. :) But im ok with that for now..even though a lot of time i feel very lonely i know that God has my back... .its so different this year friendships feel so shallow ..only filling what they need...
=\ enough rambling for now ..